EM Tanner Designs

“oh where oh where could she beeeee?!?!”

Well, she didn’t check herself into the local nuthouse (at least not YET) but she did have an OH SHIT my big “little” kids are gonna be in 6th and 8th grade moment….and i haven’t a clue WHERE TIME HAS GONE. I accidentally started this crazy biz when the “babies” were 2 i think (now they are 7:()…and life has been like a hurricane ever since and i KNOW my priorities got completely jumbled in the whirlwind! I own it. I admit it….i CANNOT do my life worth a damn…sure, it looks like i am freakin superEM from the outside lookin in BUT I CAN ASSURE U I AM SOOOOO NOT! I am lost in a world of hectic CHAOS and the chaos has started to define meeee:(. If that makes ANY SENSE AT ALL TO NORMAL MORTALS THAT SLEEP?…soooooo it hit me randomly when both of my GOOD kiddos were getting into trouble at school (and i swear im not claiming they are saints by any means BUT THEY ARE GOOD KIDS)..but Haydn had to write a paper about himself aspart of a punishment and (remember im an OPEN BOOK..ur gettin the truth and u can bet yo a$$ on that)…part of it simply said “i want my old mom back”…OUCH…hit like a damn ton o’ bricks but i KNEW exactly what he meant! And the airheaded 7th grade athlete who hates homework was SPOT ON! I had to STOP, DROP, and EVALUATE my life BIG TIME.(NOTE: turning into a prune in the tub so this will BE CONTINUED)…

PART 2:

SOOOOO ….lemme try to explain my head…which unless u have crazy adult ADHD/anxiety from HELL, and severe insomnia chances are it will make ZERO SENSE but it does somehow to me….SOOOOO i realized i was “LOST” when a friend who i knew had “been there, done that” and survived replied to a text with honest, raw advice that i will “remain LOST until i figure out what I NEED”…and i realized i was doing JUST THAT…i had to walk away from work for first time in 5 years and work on regaining some control over MY LIFE and what I NEED…in short, i realized until i catch up on all the SHIT that has built up and been scattered all over our freaking house for the years I’ve been in this whirlwind and reorganize, regain my home office that the kids WRECKED when i made it an “art room”…and TRY to find or make some space for ME and a home to come home to and chill out at…sad to report we are NOT there YET but i have decided i can’t let anything stop me from finishing in the very near future….We rented a junk bee gone dumpster TWICE and put it under the deck so i could just launch shit off the deck while blasting jeffrey lewis on the kitchen tv (just off the deck) for inspiration! if i got stuck i’d send mom a picture and say “WWJLD”…(what would jeff lewis do)….my mom ALWAYS texted back “JEFF SAYS GET RID OF THAT SHIT NOWWWW”…ROFL…soooo it was working. i was doing it and doing it RIGHT for first time in YEARS. color coded my closet and kris’ closet (he wasn’t quite as pumped about this as i was) but ya know…color coded my extremely WARPED library i have managed to collect over the years…(NOTE: remember when u color code them like on interest the subjects don’t matter…just the COLOR..soooo we got martha stewart holiday crafts right alongside sex tips from a gay man for strait women (and YES, i am drop dead NOT JOKING…the title sounded interesting..bahahaha)…but look how pretty my screwed up library is..ooh and life is too short to fold fitted sheets i think falls right by 101 days of red hot quickies…which i am positive my husband would assure you has NOT been cracked yet..but again, sounded quite interesting and inspirational dontcha think? LMAO. (told ya this would be real, raw and nothing to hide, didn’t i??)….if you are offended probably STOP reading NOW bc i haven’t a clue where the crap this is headed now to be honest w/yall….

soooooo anyway basically i decided that i could NOT wind down and decide what it is that make ME HAPPY until i feel a place to go home to and RELAX (or try to…not much of a relaxer but that’s another thing that must change or ill be dead by the age of 40 no doubt)…soooo i frantically went on a “OPERATION regain my SHITHOLE or else…MISSION IMfunk’nPOSSIBLE”…and am still not there but to do it right it is sooooo time consuming it’s not even funny but the kitchen is perfectly organized w/o all the excess crap, i have almost finished regaining my home office space and our bedroom and closets are done…tons of crap is dumped and we now have a mail/homework closet thing going on so everyone can find what they need for whatever project without yelling for “MOOOMMMYYYYYY”…geesh I’m sooo tired of being the ONLY one who can MAYBE find a damn thing in this 4000sq feet of chaos! GOTTA CHANGE…..soooo i still have no idea how to make things manageable or what I NEED TO BE HAPPY or anything …yep, still no answers but i do know that owning a biz in a shit economy today SUX and i have to get back to work or else so look for a big ole sale to be coming really soon but I’m also freaking out because i feel like no matter where I’m at or what i am doing i am letting someone down. ugh. BUTTT i do feel like the fact that i have stopped denying myself the truth that i lost MEEE in the chaos I’ve been living in is definitely a step in the right direction. while i hate that still i have no resolution or ANSWER to my own question i feel like i have AT LEAST ADMITTED THE PROBLEM TO MYSELF….my priorities have been completely FUNK’d up which in turn is most likely the main reason that “I CANT DO MY LIFE”…me and my friend Jill talk about the “good ole days” when we would haul all 8 kids to the pool EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE SUMMER and our kids totally remember that and the fun, not so fun, and just downright FUNK’n HYSTERICAL times we’ve had while just trying to SURVIVE the summers with 4 kids and i think that making those kinda memories for my kids IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPIEST and hanging w/my husband and good friends times and just being PRESENT in the damn MOMENT is what i have totally lost sight of and KNOW IT. And i wish i could finish my story here but dang it i CANT bc i have no idea how it ends….ughhhhhhh….but anyway, hate me or love me…im a person…a dang honest person that tells the TRUTH…and well….THAT’S EXACTLY WHERE IVE BEEN…still looking but trying to find Haydn and his siblings “his old mom back”.

Stephanie Williams and Kristin Carver grew up friends in Maryville. They befriended each other in elementary school, played on the same youth basketball team, took modern dance in middle school and graduated from Maryville High School.

After high school, like so many other friends, they went their own ways. Williams went to the University of Tennessee. Carver went to Clemson University, then to medical school and training to be a radiologist who specializes in breast imaging. They saw each other occasionally, at a wedding or holiday party, through the years.

Each woman married and had two children. Williams moved to Mississippi with husband Craig Williams and children Stella Mae, now 5, and Walt, 7. Carver came home to Maryville last year to work with LeConte Radiology that provides radiology services for Blount Memorial Hospital.

Then cancer reconnected them.

Last July, Williams found a lump in one of her breasts. Then 35, she had a double mastectomy.

Dr. Kristin Carver

The Jackson, Miss., resident didn’t want to talk to many people about her health. One of her best friends, Emily Tanner of Knoxville, became her link to childhood friends. “My husband called Emily and told her. I wanted to get it done, get it out and move on. So I would talk to Emily, tell her my status and she was my outlet,” says Williams.

That circle of friends Tanner shared with helped Williams and Carver reconnect. Friends told Carver of Williams’ cancer fight. “In my profession I have seen many young women diagnosed with cancer,” says Carver. “It really hit home with someone you grew up with.”

Williams discovered Carver specialized in breast cancer detection. After her mastectomy, she texted Carver. “I texted her some questions about me, about my treatment. That’s how it got started,” Williams recalls.

The two communicated by text and e-mail. Soon the conversation turned to a product Williams created for women recovering from a mastectomy.

Home days after her surgery, Williams felt great. But she had to deal with postoperative surgical drains that prevent blood and lymphatic fluid from collecting under her skin. The tubes started under her skin near her incisions and ended at small plastic bulbs that hung near her waist. “It looks like you are a robot,” Williams said.

She asked her mother, Diane Newman of Maryville, to use some knit material and “sew a scarf with pockets.” Williams crossed the scarf across her chest so it held the tubing. She tucked the drain bulbs in the scarf end pockets. “Because of the way it crosses it hides the tubing,” she says. She could wear her own blouses and didn’t need to hide the drains and tubes in a big sweatshirt or pin them to a camisole.

“I felt normal. I didn’t feel like people were looking at me and saying,’ Oh, she has breast cancer.’ And because my kids are so young, I didn’t want them to be scared of me having surgery. If they couldn’t see the drains, it was like they were not there.”

Williams and friend Susan Steckler decided to sell the scarves to other women recovering from a mastectomy or tummy tuck operation. Their company is called Flowerpotz because a drain bulb resembles a flower bulb. They perfected the original design, added a snap for security and offered it in four color options of denim, pink, brown or gray. They sell the scarves to stores and for $35 at www.flowerpotz.com.

Williams texted Carver about the scarf, and Carver invited her to send a sample. Now the scarves are sold in the newly reopened Perfect Fit boutique at Blount Memorial. The store offers products for women who have had a mastectomy. Carver also has given Williams leads of other places nationwide that might be interested in the Flowerpotz scarf.

“I was glad for the chance to reconnect with Stephanie and in a positive way,” says Carver. “This young woman with children had cancer, and she has this great outlook.”

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/apr/07/friends-reconnect-because-of-ones-cancer/

http://razberriez.com/newspaper-nails/

this was actually VERY easy and pick up one of those sally hansen clean up nail polish remover pens and it is perfecto! Oh also, i used a kinda off white color the first go around like it looked on Pinterest but it didn’t show up at all so i would def suggest STARK WHITE even though it looks really bad before you soak them in the alcohol and apply the newspaper….i did my toes too…warning: it is definitely a conversation starter! Everytime i got a fresh sonic i was asked about it.lol. Then i had to tell the step by step directions so contemplating next time carrying around a business cardlike stack of directions like the deaf people do handing our fliers ya know. it honestly would save a lot of explaining time.(just a heads up)

Link to the official Hutton’s Heart products!

click here to read Hutton Johnson’s Miracle of a story on her caringbridge page.(no way could i even begin to RETELL it and do it justice!!!).

http://www.emtannerdesigns.com/gifts/hutton-s-heart-benefit-products/hutton-s-heart-official-tees.html

http://www.chw.org/display/PPF/DocID/26050/router.asp

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/huttonjohnson

For the month of February 25% of the proceeds from the following products will be donated to Hutton’s Heart to benefit “Project Adam”. Project Adam is a benefit to put defibrillators into area schools and as a mother of an athlete that will be attending Catholic High School, I am happy to report they have received the first one! WOO HOO. Anyway, great cause and we’re always happy to help our very own little special BABY HUTTON JOHNSON…I am also happy to report that since receiving her new heart there have been some ups and downs but little Hutt and her new heart are doing great and sassy and as “DAVID JOHNSONISH” as she can be…I personally think she should have been named “Daveta”! She is going to be R-O-T-T-E-N (and they will even admit it=)!). As always, we appreciate all of you keeping our little buddy in your thoughts and prayers that she continues to ROCK her new heart for many years to come! She is one amazing little gal…have to bite my lip as i type this bc OMGAHHH she is soooo freakin’ CUTE and FUNNY…her personality CRACKS ME UP!!! The child is resilient. Amazingly resilient! She has SOMETHING she is SUPPOSED to be doing here on this crazy earth!!! I have NO DOUBTS she will figure it out and make it happen whatever it may be! NEVER DOUBT THE POWER OF HUTT! lol. (ask the docs at CHOP…many of them had to learn the hard way…haha)

NOTE: not meaning that AT ALL offensive to all the AMAZING doctors there…it’s just that Hutton seems to be a little more amazing than Science and medicine…really a walking miracle made possible only by those AMAZING DOCS she proved wrong!

xoxo

also participating are the following local businesses:

The Rustic Cradle

Send Julie @ The Rustic Cradle a message if you wish to purchase one of her beautiful “Hutton’s Hearts” canvases for your home…check out lots of other photos, styles and colors on her facebook page i have linked to.

The Cup

the cupcake flavor that will be benefitting Hutton’s Heart is chocolate covered cherry

i believe…will update if i’m incorrect!Remember for the entire month of February! YUMMO.

Gift & Gourmet

Mary Lee at Gift & Gourmet is selling plates in honor of Hutton’s heart for the month of February…Jill is working on getting me a photo in the meantime…I have also linked to this FAB local store’s website that you WON’T want to miss! It’s so very West-Knox-Shabby-Chic…it’s one of those boutiques that i can smell (a GREAT TO DIE FOR SMELL) that you can literally smell in your head when you think of it…lol…(if you are one of these crazy peeps that associate smells w/ happy places like me!). Regardless, it’s a great boutique!

OK, so thanks Kacey for above pic…very COOOL…holy crap look how young he was!AMAZING! Soooo not trying to dwell on the dark stuff but i triple HEART the commencement speech…i sat in tub this morning and watched it like 3 times! It’s no SECRET i’ve been in a bit of a rut lately…kinda hit a bump in life’s FUNK’d up road and usually i pop back up TIMES 200 because…wellllll im kinda stubborn like that=/…But this time it’s not been quite the usual “fire under my ass”…anyways, i have had a BANNER DAY as far as getting stuff done so not gonna get myself down in the dumps BUT I cant lie to anyone…i QUESTION the HELL outta what im doing EVERY DAY!!! It is nearly impossible to balance a biz, 4 kids, husband, house, blah…(reaching for my xanax just writing this—cant breathe—just kidding—well sorta)…ANYWAY the part about LOVING what you DO and DOING what you LOVE sorta “stanza” HIT ME HARD!!! I AM TOTALLY DOING WHAT I LOVE…I STUMBLED INTO THIS CRAZY BIZ AND IT WORKED AND IT WORKED WELL….and HELLOOOO STEVE JOBS…it worked well BECAUSE I LOVE WHAT I’M DOING!!! uhhhh HELLOO, EM, R-E-V-E-L-A-T-I-O-N like 3 years late! LOL…BUUUTTT now the tricky part is….HOW THE FUNK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT ALLLLL??? GEEEEESH. Everyone if you havent watched this speech im not suggesting im DEMANDING…it’s GREAT and I guarantee ya there is SOMETHING IN IT FOR EVERYONE! Reallly it’s a GENIUS speech that i feel like has touched GAZILLIONS of people in a GAZILLION different ways bc it was just PERFECTION….just like the iphone! lol. Dunno bout yall but i sure as hell can’t live without mine!

…and the ipad….and the imac….and my macbook…